letters to myself.

dear self:

sometimes, i wonder where happiness goes
when it's lost.

.

dear self:

i have checked
under my bed
for monsters and
there are none.
i have decided
the only kind of monsters
are the ones within
people, including myself.

.

dear self:

i don't dream anymore.

i let the world
take my dreams from me
and throw them in the trash
because they said
'those will never come true'
and i believed them.

don't let them do the same
to yours.

.

dear self:

don't be afraid.

.

dear self:

none of my wishes
have come true yet,
but this does not mean
i should stop hoping
and dreaming and
wishing.

.

dear self:

you can't make
people happy, and you can't
make them smile.

but you can still try.

.

dear self:

i miss going outside
just to stare at the clouds walking
in the sky; tasting the air
and happiness; watching kids
play in the backyard next door
and not being a part of it
and being a part of it
all at once.

.

dear self:

closing your eyes and
locking the doors and
praying this all goes away
will not shut the world out.

it'll only shut you out.

.

dear self:

doubting yourself
will get you no where,
except for that corner in
your room, crying.

.

dear self:

smile.