1.
tomorrow is not worth waiting for.

sure, there will be sunshine (with
a slight chance of rain) and sure,
some kid will be smiling, and yes,
life is still
moving
on,

but it's not like anyone cares.


2.
you just want someone to love you,

misery and tears and all. maybe you
could spend saturdays curled up
under the covers, memorizing
the patterns of breathing. maybe
you could count the seconds but
the problem is that there would never
be enough, the problem is that

there's nothing there to love.


3.
no one is listening.


4.
i'd write you a letter, but
you'd never read it. i'm stuck
screaming into my own heart,
wondering if anything is in there
anymore, wondering if
this is even worth it.

wake up, self.
wake up.

please.


5.
you want to force fingers
down your throat just to cause
self-destruction, you want
to suffocate yourself (it's
easier than breathing), you want
to sleep and never wake up, you
want to find your dreams and destroy
every one of them.

you want to die.

i understand.